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The Unexamined Life: Psychotherapy, Couples Counselling & Mental Health

Trauma in Everyday Life: How Past Pain Shows Up & What You Can Do

What Is Trauma in Everyday Life?

Trauma in everyday life is not always dramatic or obvious.
It can exist quietly in our daily reactions — how we handle conflict, navigate relationships, or deal with stress.
You may find yourself saying, “I’m fine”, while something inside feels tense, restless, or stuck.

At Thrive Together Psychotherapy, we often meet people who are coping outwardly but carrying hidden pain. These experiences may not seem “traumatic,” yet they deeply affect how we think, feel, and connect.


How Trauma Shapes the Everyday Self

Trauma is not just about what happened — it’s about how your body and mind responded to it.
Even after the event ends, the body remembers. As psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk writes, “the body keeps the score.”

This means trauma can linger in subtle ways:

  • Feeling anxious in certain relationships or situations

  • Avoiding emotional closeness or shutting down during conflict

  • Being hyper-alert to potential rejection or threat

  • Feeling detached, disconnected, or “not quite here”

These are everyday expressions of unresolved trauma — your body’s way of saying something still needs care.



Image Alt Text: Grounding after trauma and emotional healing


The Psychology of Repetition: Why We Relive Old Wounds

Sigmund Freud described a phenomenon known as repetition compulsion — our unconscious drive to recreate painful experiences in an attempt to master them.

For example:

  • Choosing emotionally unavailable partners

  • Staying in stressful jobs that mirror past dynamics

  • Repeating self-blame or guilt learned early in life

We don’t do this consciously; we do it because the psyche is seeking closure.
Through existential and analytic therapy, these unconscious patterns are brought into awareness so you can respond with freedom rather than repetition.


Healing from Trauma in Everyday Life

At Thrive Together Psychotherapy, we use an existential-analytic and relational approach to help you make sense of how trauma has shaped your worldview.
This process is not about “fixing” you — it’s about understanding your story with compassion and curiosity.

Therapy can help you:

  • Recognise and understand trauma patterns in daily life

  • Reconnect safely with your emotions and body

  • Develop resilience, clarity, and trust in yourself

  • Rebuild meaningful relationships and find a renewed sense of purpose

Healing is a gradual integration — where what once felt unbearable becomes part of a more coherent self-narrative.



Image Alt Text: Existential therapy helping with trauma recovery


Small Everyday Steps Toward Healing

Even simple, consistent actions can help the healing process:

  1. Pause and breathe. Notice your body’s reactions without judgment.

  2. Reflect. Journaling can help uncover emotional patterns and insights.

  3. Ground yourself. Feel your feet, your breath, and your surroundings.

  4. Connect. Healing begins in safe relationships — with others and with yourself.

  5. Seek support. Professional therapy can provide the structure and care needed to move forward.


You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

If you recognise yourself in this, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to face it in isolation.
Our team of therapists — including Daniel Thomas-Wallis, Helena Woodgate, and Gemma Taylor — specialise in trauma, anxiety, and relationship therapy for individuals and couples.

Book your free 2-hour consultation today to explore how therapy can help you heal from trauma in everyday life.

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