A Relational Approach to Choosing a Therapist
How do I find the right therapist for me?
It’s a question many people ask—often when they’re already feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed. With numerous options, therapy types, and professional profiles to consider, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But from an existential-analytic perspective, this question is not only practical—it’s deeply relational.
At Thrive Together Psychotherapy, we believe therapy begins with a relationship, not labels.
How Do I Find the Right Therapist for Me? Start with What Matters Most
Rather than focusing only on qualifications, think about the kind of relationship you need to feel safe and seen.
Do you want someone who will gently challenge you?
Someone who can sit with silence?
Are you drawn to existential, relational, or depth-oriented work?
These questions help guide your search beyond credentials. Psychology Today offers a helpful overview of how different modalities might feel in practice.
If you’re unsure which type of therapy suits you, the BACP’s guide to therapy types can also help.
What Should I Notice in the First Session With a Therapist?
You don’t need to share everything in the first session. However, pay attention to what your body and emotions are telling you.
Do you feel safe?
Do you feel seen?
Are you performing, or can you begin to be yourself?
Sometimes your body knows before your mind does. As The School of Life notes, therapy is as much about emotional compatibility as it is about professional style.
What Questions Can I Ask to Find the Right Therapist?
A good therapist will welcome your questions, not resist them. You might ask:
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How do you approach therapy?
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What kinds of clients do you work with?
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How do you believe change happens in therapy?
These aren’t technical interviews—they’re invitations to feel into what the relationship might be like.
👉 What happens in a therapy session?
Why It’s Okay to Meet More Than One Therapist
Choosing the right therapist is a process. Meeting with a few different people before committing can help you discover what kind of presence enables you to feel most open, safe, or challenged.
This discernment is part of the work. It’s not about finding the “perfect therapist”—but the one you feel ready to work with.
The APA also highlights that the quality of the relationship—more than the method—is what predicts therapeutic success.
In Existential Therapy, the Right Therapist Is Someone Who Meets You
Existential-analytic therapy is grounded in the belief that healing begins in human connection. Your therapist is not there to fix you, but to be with you.
The right therapist for you is someone who can hold your questions, sit with your silence, and honour the parts of yourself you’re still learning to welcome.
As Irvin Yalom teaches, therapy is less about using tools and more about meeting another person with courage and presence.
Looking for a Therapist in Weybridge or Surrey?
At Thrive Together Psychotherapy, we offer a free 2-hour consultation so you can explore whether we’re the right fit,
without pressure.
📍 Based in Weybridge, Surrey
🌿 Existential Therapy for Relationships, Depression, Burnout & Self-Exploration
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